Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
how does that bad decision feel?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
