There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
