you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
