WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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