Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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