I hate your face
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
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