if you like me you must not know who I am
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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