i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
