Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
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