Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
