but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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