I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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