why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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