So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
