Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
