Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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