My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
In other news, I just burned my penis
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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