It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
