the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
He did a backflip because drugs
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
