So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
