dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize