I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
And then my night got REAL pukey
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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