in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
