I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
