Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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