I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
