i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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