your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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