how can u be prego again
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
