fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize