Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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