That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
