after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Randomize
