based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
