If i come over, it means nothing
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Randomize
