Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
