How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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