erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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