I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
