Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
whose parrot is this?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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