yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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