@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
