Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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