i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
