I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
