I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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