have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
