dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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