Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I did not marry a roomba.
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