It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize