She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
