I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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