im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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