He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
